Just memories....

Autumn is slowly ushering itself in this year. Seems to be coming in slower than usual. Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's just the way it is this year. I will be out taking photographs of the changing leaves, the colors as they fade in and the bright ones fade out.

I find that I am not dreading October as much as I thought I would. October 24th 2010, will mark 16 years since Elizabethe-Ane died. Wow. That's all I can manage to say. I never thought that I would be one of the many, who have lost a child. I never imagined that I would be among those ranks. It is definitely not a badge of honor. Hell, it's not a badge I'd be happy to see anyone wear. It hurts. The pain at times, is absolutely crushing. There are days when you feel like you can't go on. There are days when you feel like giving up and curling into a ball for years on end. There are days when you sit and reflect on the memories, good...bad...ugly...beautiful. There are days when you feel like, Okay I can handle this. I am good today. As few and far as the good days seem to be...we learn to cherish them all the more. I think I am finally finding a small semblance of peace with Eli's death. I will never understand why my daughter, why my baby. But I can find some small span of peace and comfort. It has taken me 16 years to get to this point. It has been a long road and one hell of a journey. I have no doubt that I will always be on this journey, as the peaceful days are few and far between. But right now, I will live in the one that I have.

-to be continued-

Warmest Thoughts,
Desarei

.....Catchy title in the works

Yeah, I had no idea what to put as a title. Don't even have much to say really.

The kids started back to school about 3 weeks ago and have no school on Monday, due to Labor Day. It has been relatively quiet, with nothing of notable mentioning to talk about. I am starting to work on things for the Grand Opening of Kateri Maka Gardens. Hopefully things will fall into place soon, so that everything can move fluidly and without issue. Right now, I am looking at the current prices of new molds, new bases, etc. I think I have found a decent price on Shea Butter, Mango Butter, Lanolin, and a few other critical bases and essential ingredients I need. I am looking at some of the newer molds, that are made of a more flexible material. Instead of the typical harder materials, that tend to crack after a certain amount of use. It is up in the air right now, as to wether candles, tarts and other items of the like, will be created and sold. I think that our main focus is on the body, mind and spirit, health wise. I am researching some things for healthier ingredients for the products that will be exclusive to Kateri Maka Gardens. I won't say what those items are at this point, as things are still being worked out. And not to mention, that would be giving away what our line of advertising will be =)

I do know that we will have stones, oils and other essential items for sale, that most Native American and other cultures utilize for their cultural needs.

So, keep an eye out for Kateri Maka Gardens. We just may be opening soon.

Desarei

[insert witty entry title here]

I know, I know.....I haven't written anything in several days. I'm still trying to sort thru all my old blog entries so that I can add them here. I didn't realize just how many journals I had completely filled to the hilt, when I was using AOL Journals back in the day. I have enjoyed reading back thru some of the entries. Especially the entries i had written during my divorce and the two years after said divorce. I read back thru them and wonder how the hell I stayed strong and sane. Its good reading. Reminds me where I have been, where I am going, and where i don't ever want to go again.

It's almost time for school to start back up. I did some minor school shopping the other day and balked when I saw that for 6 pairs of shoes, 4 back packs, 4 packs of undies...total came to 120.00. That's like....a lot. Dude, I can think of so much I could spend that on and get more lol.

It is definitely a good thing that I love animals. It is definitely a good thing that Chy is a Vet tech. On Tuesday, two stray dogs showed up on our property. Out of the blue. Poor things looked awful. It looks like they had been roaming for some time. Ribs showing, fur missing, pads of their paws worn. But they are such sweet girls! Did a search for the owners and apparently they were abandoned when the owners moved. So....we took them in (I know....that makes 7 dogs that we have now). Dakota promptly took the older dog and named her Soteria, and named the young pup (which we have since discovered is Soteria's puppy) and named her Aimee. They are so well behaved, and housebreaking proved to be a simple task with them. They have settled in nicely thus far.

Aside from things being overly hot and humid here, not much for me to update on right now. I'm sure i will find something update worthy.

Warmest thoughts,
Desarei