Memories of a broken heart & Thank you's

Any of you who have been reading my blog since I first started using online journals, back in 1994, know that October is a hard month for me, much harder than any other month out of the year. Most of you know that August starts a walk for me, that ultimately ends on October 24th, every year. You have watched me smile when I want to cry, and you have made sure that I knew...that I wasn't fooling anyone with the smiles. I want to thank each and every one of you for being there for me, for holding me, loving me, helping me thru what is always a very emotional time for me. I appreciate it from the depths of my heart. You have let me talk about Elizabethe-Ane. You have let me cry, you have released balloons in her name, planted trees and roses. Some of you have released doves in her memory and worn ribbons with her name on them. I will never be able to express how much all of that has meant to me, how much it still means to me. All I can do is say...THANK YOU my friends. Thank you for walking with a mother who's heart, was broken so long ago. Thank you for carrying me when i felt like I couldn't carry myself. Thank you for crying with me and trying to understand the magnitude of my pain. Thank you...for not saying it was meant to be. Thank you...for being...a FRIEND, for loving me the way that I am, for the words of support and love.

Warmest thoughts,
Desarei

Imagination...beauty...

I have discovered that I have entirely too many.....photos. Okay, well for a normal person that is. I have been working to reorganize all my client photos, since I let the folders get very untidy that is. I came across a few photos I have done, and thought I'd share them with you. Some are good, some are okay, some are just plain....meh what was I thinking lol

First up is from a Photo session with my adopted brother and my 18 yr old daughter in February 2009. (I know, Chy looks 12, but trust me, she is 18)


Let's see here, next up is a random photo I did in the Winter of 2005, we had a bad blizzard and Ice storm that year. I went out after the storm, in the days after that is....and snapped about 200 photos in all. This is one of those photos, back in the day when I used the "dreamy" effect on some of my images. This particular photo was taken from my backyard. A set of tracks ran behind my yard.



Let's see, this next image is a random one I caught while driving home one night. I saw the sun setting over the highway horizon and it was breath taking to me.


I hope you enjoyed them. I will probably add more later. But honestly, I'm hot (its 107 here), my face, hands and feet are swollen (no I am not pregnant, I just don't tolerate heat very well with my Lupus and RA),
and I am...C R A N K Y as all get out. So I will save some of my other images for another day =)

Desarei

Sweet days

Sometimes, we forget to stop and look at what is around us, what we have, what we are lucky to have. My daughter is one of the many blessings i have in my life. I remember the day she was born. Oh my how I remember. It doesn't seem like its been that long ago either. Now, now she is a beautiful young woman that has high ambitions and dreams. She's a Vet Tech, that is pursuing Veterinarian school. She's got the biggest heart I have ever seen. She wears it on her sleeve the majority of the time. Sensitive, funny, charming, calm, yet fiesty as fire. She's quiet, yet loud. Bubbly, giggling, over flowing with love for her family, animals, art and writing. She's....my baby girl. I can't believe my baby girl is....mine.

Words escape me

Words escape me as I realize, that in just 2 months....it will be the 16 yr anniversary of my daughter Elizabethe-Ane Maree, and the day she was given her wings to fly, with the most precious of angels. Words can not say, what my heart has felt, and still feels...all these years later. Words can't begin to express, the sense of sorrow, but yet the sense of belief, that I have. Words escape me, for there are none that could show the depths of my heart, or bare my soul...the way my beautiful angel did, the day she was born, the day I also had to say good bye. I have never forgotten, I have thought of her every day for the last 16 years. Words escape me. My heart still hurts, still longs for my little one. My heart still feels broken, all these years later. Words.....escape me.



Words escape me...for there are none that can describe the emotions.