My Chenoa is 12

 Yesterday my 31 week preemie turned 12 years old. It doesn't seem like it has been 12 years since she was the tiny 3lb newborn that she was. I can remember the moment my water broke. I remember hoping beyond all hope that I had just wet my pants. Yes I desperately was hoping that was what had happened. I recall crying and saying please please don't let this be my water. It's entirely too soon for this baby boy (I was told she was a he since week 15) to be born. I rushed to the hospital and was told that this was it. My water had definitely broken and the birth was imminent. I was not far enough along for the GBS test at that point so they immediately did one. I tested a high positive for GBS (Group B Strep) and they immediately tried to stall my labor long enough to get some antibiotics into my system. My OB came in with the perinatologist and they did an ultrasound right then. They said the baby was still a he and that they suspected he weighed 7lbs. I laughed and said no, SHE is going to weigh 3lbs and be 15 inches long. They looked at me and laughed. Said no we know what we are talking about. Chenoa was born just moments after midnight when I rolled over from 30 weeks to 31 weeks. She weighed 3lbs and was exactly 15 inches long. She didn't cry. She mewed like a weak little kitten. She was retracting with every breath she took and they rushed her to the NICU after they let me hold her for all of a minute. I was able to go down to the NICU after they got me cleaned up and settled. I watched as the NICU nurse took the suction syringe bulb (the snot sucker as I called it) and put it in the palm of her hand. She picked up Chenoa and laid her on her tummy across her arm. She patted her back with the hand that held the bulb syringe. I remember thinking my gosh it looks like they are patting her back really hard. The nurse was trying to get the fluid in her lungs to break up (per what I was told) and she was trying to get her to cry. She was never able to get anything beyond that weak kitten mew. The nurses told me to expect Chenoa to remain in the NICU until at least her due date. I was devastated. I didn't want to go home without her even though i lived just across the street from the hospital at the time. I stayed by her side for 3 solid days. The nurses tried in vain to get me to leave her to go shower and rest. I just couldn't do it. Finally the my doctor and the NICU doctor came in. They both told me to go shower and get some rest and then they wanted to talk to me. So I finally did. When I came back, I sat down with the doctors and was fully expecting them to tell me she would be staying for many weeks. Imagine my surprise when I was told that she could go home with very specific and strict restrictions. She was on a monitor and I had to bring her in every single day. I was told that the main reason they were letting me take her home was because she was doing very well and because I lived across the street from the hospital. They both were also aware that I had suffered 6 back to back miscarriages just before I got pregnant with Chenoa. The 6th one being exactly 6 months to the day when i found out I was pregnant with Chenoa. I named her Chenoa Kathryn-Lian. Chenoa means White Dove (Native American), Kathryn means Of God and Lian means Graceful Willow in Japanese and Lotus flower in Chinese. The name was one I chose after she was born and it fit her circumstances. The day I brought her home she set off the alarms on her monitor when she stopped breathing and turned blue. I called the hospital and the NICU doctor said strip her down and step outside for a moment. I was like are you kidding me? It was COLD, ice cold. He said it would shock her system into taking a breath and to step back in afterward. And that they would be sending someone to usher us to the hospital, across the street. Thankfully it DID work and she took a breath (still not sure why the cold air worked or why they didn't tell me to do CPR). That led to a few days in the hospital again. Eventually we were able to go back home and didn't have any repeats. Amazingly she did better than the doctors had hoped. They said her lungs were mature at birth which was a shock. The retracting was from the fast trip down the birth canal (at least that's what they said). She did remain on the monitor for the first year of her life and was on a modified growth chart due to her premature birth. But by the age of 3 she was caught up with other babies her age. Amazingly she had no other issues aside from being 95% deaf and a congenital birth defect that affected her hips and legs, which was correctable with surgery. When she was 6 she had surgery on her legs to correct the tibial torsion and femural torsion (both tibia and femur were twisted and had to be surgically "untwisted") and that should help the hip rotation she has. I am thankful that she has no other issues as a result of her premature birth. I am very lucky. Chenoa is a happy and beautiful 12 year old now. I am one lucky mama.