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Monday, January 16, 2012

Run for cover. [mini rant in progress]

  I'm not sure about any of you guys and girls, but I have come to dislike doing laundry. It's not because I hate doing laundry as a whole. I have come to hate doing laundry because it is inevitable that I will come across an outfit, or shirt, or pair of pants, or heck even a pair of socks and undies, that my husband's ex wife has written her name on. It all started last year when I noticed that clothes we sent Minimoo to her mother in, never made it back to us. At first I didn't give any serious thought. Several months went by and I noticed that we were down by at least 4-6 pairs of pants, several shirts, a lot of socks and quite a few pairs of undies. I went and bought new socks, undies, some pants and shirts for all the kids. I decided to put D on the tags with a permanent marker. It was a means of determining how many would come back to us. After a few weeks, we were down once again by about half of what we had bought. Daniel said something to his ex wife about it. He also told her that she needed to send a bag of clothing for here, that we could send her back in. So as to avoid the whole issue all together right? Wrong. The clothing we have bought, continued to disappear and finally we had to say something to his ex wife AGAIN. Lo and behold....2 bags of clothing came back to us. Granted those two bags was not everything that had disappeared. His ex wife started marking clothing as well. Which in itself is fine. Until I go to do laundry and I see a shirt or pair of pants that I KNOW I bought, or my parents purchased, or someone else purchased for the kids, with her name on it. That's when I get a tad upset. All weekend we have been looking for a particular pair of leggings that the girls have. They are pink with adorable rosebuds on them. They go with a matching shirt that Daniel's mother got them for Christmas 2011. Daniel argued with me and said that his ex wife had bought them for Minimoo. I asked him how he can say that she did? He replied with "Because her name is on the tag." I came a bit unhinged. I told him that I don't give a rats left toe nail if it has her name on the tag. Because that woman did NOT buy those pants. Those pants were a Christmas gift from someone else.  Maybe I am being petty, maybe I just need a d*** break. Who the heck knows. What I do know, is those pants were not her's. Those pants, were not purchased by her.
   Honestly, I have tried so hard to be polite and nice to this woman. I have tolerated A LOT of crap. I have overlooked her snide and snarky BS. I have overlooked the fact that she seems to think she can be sweet up on MY husband. You know, the husband that SHE cheated on. The husband that SHE decided she didn't want anymore. Seriously, really. I am just tired of the BS, the drama, the catty nature of this woman. It's not just that either. It's the fact that this woman left not only Daniel when they were married, but Minimoo as well. She left and didn't so much as CALL to see how Minimoo was. This woman left her only child and didn't think twice. She was content to give custody to Daniel. It was HER idea that he have full custody and she have visitation. After all, he is the one who has taken care of that little one since she was born.  It wasn't until he announced that we were engaged and then married, that she had issues with it. She suddenly became mother of the year and she made damn sure that anyone who would listen, knew that she was this uber awesome mother. NOT. Those of you who know me well, know that I am the last one to cast judgement on another mother. No matter how I may disagree with that mother, I keep my mouth shut and remain silent. And many of you have told me for the last 2 yrs that i have tolerated too much from this woman. Many of you have asked me where the heck the stubborn, fierce, protective mama and woman that I usually am, went. Too many times many of you have asked me why I have been so patient with this woman. You guys know better than that. You know I am the least patient person in the world. Tolerance has become confused with patience. And my tolerance for this woman, has been thinning at a rapid pace for some time now. Some of you may recall the incident with the super lice last year. And you know my girls have always had long hair. Cherokee's hair was down to her waist. Shawnee's was not too far behind, coming in at the middle of her back. Chenoa's was just as long as Shawnee's at that point. if you recall Minimoo's mother called us and said she found lice on her. So to head it off Daniel and I sat down for 8 hours and went thru the girls' hair. We didn't find a single nit, a single lice. But we treated their heads anyways. Tea Tree oil, Neem, Rid, you name it. We battled this super lice with Minimoo for 8 MONTHS. Yes, 8 freaking months. We would treat her head and she would go to her mother's with not a single nit. Daniel and I both spent countless hours on her head. Not just her head but ALL the girls and Dakota. The boys, I just kept their head shaved (which caused a fight with Hunter and Liam because they wanted long hair like Dakota, who said if I touched his hair with scissors he'd beat me lol).  Needless to say it was a never ending battle it seemed. We would treat heads. Go through each head with combs. Treat linens, furniture, toys, stuffed animals, beds. Thankfully we don't have carpets so I didn't need to treat the carpets.  It got to be so frustrating to get Minimoo back and see that she had it AGAIN. It got so frustrating that Daniel's ex wife made the mistake of telling me that my girls were the ones giving it to Minimoo. Umm yeah, NOT. In the end it was discovered that Minimoo was sharing brushes and HATS and jackets with a girl at school, that was having issues with the lice and had been for some time.  But the frustrating part was this woman decided it was okay to attack me by way of my girls. That's NOT okay in my book. It's NOT okay to attack another mother's children. It is never alright to do. That is one sure fire way to make that mother an enemy. You have to be willing to examine your own parenting before you decide to attack another parent's parenting.  Like I said before, I have kept my mouth shut on a lot of issues with this woman. I let it go because I have always believed that it is better for the children to see adults who get along with each other despite how angry they may be. I have always believed that it was in the best interest of the children that she and I get along.  When Daniel and I first were engaged, I sent her an email introducing myself. I explained to her that I thought it would be in the best interest of Minimoo if she and I tried to be on friendly terms and be civil to each other. I made it clear that I understood that she was her mother. I also made it clear that I had no desire to try and supplant her from her position as mother. I made it clear that I know how she feels because I have an ex-husband as well. The email was polite and I made sure I sent Daniel a copy of it so that he would know word for word what was said. She has the tendency to "twist" and insert things that were never said.  I should have known when she sent her replay, that this was a woman that I would never get along with. This woman sent a response that was full of "feel sorry for me", "pity me", "I have had such a hard life" and things of that nature. I'll save you guys from bleeding retinas and just say that I don't handle things like that very well. I come from a very deep Military and Law enforcement background. I know about loss and sacrifice. I have experienced what I consider to be the worst pain one can imagine. And that is losing a child. So yeah, I didn't handle it too well LOL.

Oh man, this has turned into a massive rambling post. I am going to shut up now lol. Sorry guys.

XOXOXO
Desareì

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